“And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.”–Dr. Suess
Yes, I’ve been in a Slump. I didn’t manage to Un-slump myself until walk-time this evening.
Part of the problem, I think, is that I had about a month and a half of decent, “normal” energy. Did my yoga practice everyday. Cooked. Wrote the blog. Did my dog-training for the shelter. Even painted a bit. Then I had a couple weeks of very low energy. Didn’t want to do anything. Beat myself up about it. I wasn’t meditating or doing yoga, which is bad and lazy. I was writing but not enough– one hour a day? It should be many hours, what else do I have to do?
The heat let up a little as the sun went down this evening. Still sticky, but a little breeze blew. Down the block, my neighbor has a patch of purple coneflowers with the most blazing orange centers. I’ll take a photo tomorrow.
Walking, I thought: Lighten up. This is all bonus time.
The only thing I ever really and truly prayed for in my life was to live long enough to finish raising my daughter, Posey. From the time she was about 7, I was real sick, real often. In the middle of long, feverish nights, it seemed possible this wouldn’t happen, that I might die before she was grown.
It doesn’t feel coincidental that Death and I had our stare-down the year Posey was twenty. My prayer was answered. And then some.
I don’t know how or why, but I was granted a reprieve. I fully plan on living another forty years. This is just the second half.
So I realized that the problem isn’t what I have or haven’t been doing. What I think about it is. Life is a carnival. There are plenty of reasons to get cranky and bummed out and beat yourself up. But what’s the point?
I like to think of a poem by Robert Fulghum. I love the first couple lines.
“There is really nothing you must be. And there is nothing you must do.
There is really nothing you must have. And there is nothing you must know.
There is really nothing you must become.
However. It helps to understand that fire burns,
and when it rains, the earth gets wet…”