Big Puddle

Image

 

“really, just blow the bitterness and fear away” [jon katz]

 

I decided to write a blog.

This is a bold and decisive move for me. I don’t generally make bold and decisive moves. I’m not a puddle-diver.

I decided that after getting up, filling Indi-dog’s Kong and making cofffee, the climax of the morning was NOT going to be sprawling on the couch and playing Plants Vs. Zombies, as it has been for the past, oh, four months. Instead, I would work on a draft for my first blog.

You can probably see where this is going.

Let’s just say I killed my fair share of zombies this morning.

Why? What is that? Is is fear? Is it laziness?

Both are obstacles that pop up for me again and again. Sometimes in in the morning, before meditating, I say a little prayer to Ganesha, Remover of Obstacles. At least I know that my obstacles are inside me, I don’t balme anyone or anything else. That’s a start, I guess.

Yoga Sutra 1.2 holds true for me; my mind spins, a wind like a hurricane. And when the breezes of fear, laziness (more of an anti-breeze, I guess) and misunderstanding blow, as they often do, I am in trouble.

My nephew Neko made up a song we used to sing to Harper-dog. “Hold it, sit down, focus, don’t pull on the leash,” to the tune of Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face.” I sing it to myself.

This blog is a way for me to look at myself. Putting my thoughts out there. And right away, there’s that voice saying, “What do you think you have to say?” and “Anything you say, there are others that say it better,” and “Who’s even going to want to read that?” Questions that have kept me from doing this until now.

Bob Dylan says, “Anything I say, you can say it just as good.”

Not likely. Still, I whisper to myself, “Hold it, sit down, focus, don’t pull on the leash.”

And shut Plants Vs. Zombies off.

 

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20 comments on “Big Puddle

  1. Gramma says:

    I am so proud of you… but, didn’t you learn as a school teacher to proof your work?
    Love Gramma

  2. Gramma says:

    It’s evident that I didn’t learn that proof reading is essential!

  3. Your undertaking this blog is brave indeed, but not because you open up your voice and ideas to the outside world. Rather, it is because you are opening up your voice and ideas to yourself. Good travels, and know you are loved.

  4. brenda says:

    oh man I love your words! and I want to do the same thing but am so chicken — good for you — good for us! keep writing!! 🙂

  5. Tammy says:

    You are a puddle diver…you just haven’t realized until today.

  6. Ronni says:

    Great start , I will follow along . good job 😉

  7. Sheree says:

    I’m going to comment here so that you will know I’ve been here! Otherwise, it’s sort of like talking to yourself, right?
    I applaud your first blog entry. It is bold and brave and honest. Please keep coming back to write more and more. I can’t wait to see what’s next!!

  8. Valerie says:

    “Hold it, sit down, focus, don’t pull on the leash.” Good mantra for me. I’m going to practice that today. Thanks. Namaste.

  9. sue says:

    You have a lot to say! You might never be made aware of the many, many people who will learn, grow, or find comfort in your words. Share your thoughts, and let the Universe take care of them.

  10. Powerful Sammie. Glad you are puttin the pen to the paper. I, for one, will be anxious to hear what you have to say. Your journey has been a tough one to say the least, now we know why. To bring you here and share yourself with the world.

  11. brenda says:

    I check every day hoping for the next installment… 🙂

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